Confidence

I was asked the other day by a friend to name ten things I'm good at. I really thought hard when asked this question. After about 7.5 minutes when I could only come up with four I started listing dumb things such as eating, not doing the laundry, etc... For the rest of the day I was bumming . Why was it so hard to name at least ten things I'm good at. I am usually a fairly humble person. Lying awake all night thinking of this it finally dawned on me. The reason I can't name what I'm good at is because I concentrate way too much on the things I'm NOT good at. It's what I'm NOT good at that bugs me the most.

I can program a great Sunday morning experience for our kids, but I'll drive home thinking of a conversation I had that morning where I didn't quite say the right thing. I will do a moderately decent job organizing an event; but I'm up at 3am thinking of that one really stupid thing I did (or maybe it was a dozen stupid things I said....)

Does anyone else do this?

I read Hebrews 10:35-36 this week, I am reminded that my confidence is in God, and it is needed to endure through the end of God's will. I am learning to have confidence that God knows all my inabilities in ways that even I haven't even realized, and in spite of all of them he continues to give me opportunities to carry out His will. God doesn't focus on what I'm bad at, why should I? How can I stretch myself by only thinking of what I can't do rather than what I can. After praying through this, I can now name eleven things I'm good at (for the sake of humility I can't give you my list)

Lord, help me to look past the mistakes and errors of my life and help me to see your hand working in my life. Help me to endure in confidence to the end of your will for my life.

My iphone

I have to admit...I LOVE my iphone. It has served me so many purposes! I have a few AWFUL confessions to make --- I figured what better way to confess a few things than on my blog that no one reads :)...especially my parents and my husband!

1) I never call my friends. I hate the phone. See, this may surprise you, but I don't really talk much...so there's nothing worse for me than to talk on the phone. It makes me sad because I haven't been able to keep up with so many friends from high school or college due to this hatred for the phone. Having my iphone has allowed me to access facebook a lot more and actually keep in touch with my friends this way.

2) I have a bad habit of not returning e-mails that aren't too crucial. I would read them in the office at work, but if they didn't pertain to work I would forget to write back once I got home. Accessing e-mail on my iphone has allowed me to quickly write back when I'm bored in line at the grocery store, or during middle of the night feedings.

3) I'm not very consistent with reading God's Word. I could be great for one whole week, and than not read at all the following. the iphone has many Bible applications on it. I have youversion on my phone that gives you a daily reading plan. I haven't skipped a day yet since I've had my iphone!! (again, middle of the night feedings help!)

4) I'm a TV aholic ... Even if nothing is on - I can still sit and watch for hours. I can ALWAYS find something to watch. Now I'm more interested in playing games on my phone (like word warp and free cell) or watching you tube videos (oh, wait -- that's not different from TV) I love searching through applications or reading everyone's twitters. (okay, so this one should also be a confession that I'm on the "phone" too much)

5) I'm an indecisive person. I can't make any type of small decisions such as "where should we eat?" Dan will no longer let me say "I don't know". I used to get really bad anxiety attacks over this. Well, not anymore! The iphone actually has applications for restuarants around you. It's been great for people like me who get threats from friends for not making decisions.

6) I'm not a cool person. In the past when I would be waiting for someone, or standing in line somewhere, it would make me feel awkward - I wouldn't know what to do with myself. So many people would tell me to just call someone -- but they didn't know about my phone fear that I discussed in numer one. Now, I just whip out the iphone and have so many things to do I actually don't look awkward anymore standing all alone somewhere.

Those are my reasons for loving my iphone --- by the way, this is not a paid advertisement.

Aramai

We've been so overwhelmed with the support and prayer from many many people for our precious little girl. She had a very successful surgery. She remained in the hospital for a few extra days due to fluid build up around her lungs. They gave her extra doses of lasiks through an IV and in a couple days it was completely gone! We got the phone call Christmas morning that we were dying to get all week. The nurse said "you can come get your baby girl and bring her home for Christmas". My heart was just thrilled to be able to do just that. I couldn't wait to have her in my arms in our own house again.

Christmas was a busy day at the Sareyka's house. Lots of people and lots of presents! When we returned home in the evening, we put Avalee to bed and just sat on the couch admiring Aramai and thanking God for all He had done for us. While I was praying, Aramai smiled for the first time at me. I can't even express what my heart felt at that moment. God is so good - and I know God was smiling at that moment too. I'm going to enjoy every moment with my girls because I know how fast they can grow up. Thank you all for thinking of us, praying for us, and taking care of us during these very hard weeks. We love you all!

Crazy Holiday's

This will be one of the most interesting Christmas' ever. I'm praying hard that Aramai will be home for Christmas this year but chances are she'll still be recovering from Surgery at Children's hospital of Philadelphia. Dan and I may be moving our Christmas morning to the hospital so our family can be together. We actually got all of our Christmas shopping done in one day. We drove to Lancaster with a couple of friends one saturday and managed to check off our list one by one in no time - it was awesome! I never got all my Christmas shopping done in one day before.

We cut down our Christmas tree in NJ a few Sunday's ago. It was FREEZING and WINDY. Avalee was dressed as "I can't put my arms down" girl. She could barely walk. As soon as we got off the tracter our entire family picked the first tree they saw. We went VERY small this year. Not quite Charlie brown but small enough to fit right on top of our dining room table. This makes it easier for Avalee to not be tempted beyond which she is able.

I wrapped all of our presents and placed them strategically in the corner. I went to feed Aramai, returned in 25 minutes to all of my presents completely unwrapped and all around the house. Yikes --- Avalee already had her Christmas. This takes the guessing out of whether she'll like opening presents or not. Now I have to wrap all my presents again!

Please pray for us Thursday. Aramai is going to CHOP for open heart surgery in the morning. I'm very scared and nervous but know that God has everything in control. We would greatly appreciate all your prayers. Merry Christmas :)

Update on Aramai

After our visit to the cardiologist yesterday it seems like our baby girl is not gaining any weight. She only weighs 5lbs 8 oz...not even her birth weight yet. She was put on yet another medication to help with her potassium levels. Since they don't see her getting to 10 pounds within the next month they will be moving forward with the surgery. We go to Children's hospital of Philadelphia for a second opinion the week after thanksgiving. We'll get a chance to meet a few surgeons and they'll schedule her surgery for sometime in December. Please keep Aramai in your prayers. She's such a little peanut to need heart surgery but we all know God will keep her little heart in His hands.

A New Baby Girl

We brought Aramai Loretta home Tuesday afternoon - election day. She was born 5lbs 10oz. She looks EXACLTY like Avalee! She's such a little peanut. Dan says she's very breakable and too fragile to hold ;) Labor and delivery could not have been easier. Sure, I was having labor pains for a week and they only got worse towards the weekend, but delivery was the easiest thing possible (I bow down to epidural's)

Avalee is adjusting quite well. She has not mastered being "gentle" quite yet, but loves her little sister and is quite curious as to why she just lays there all day. It will be a challenge with a 15 month old (soon to be 16 months) and a newborn in the house but who needs sleep and showers?? Thank the Lord for a wonderful church family, friends, and family who take great care of us!!!

Aramai was born with a hole in her heart. It's quite big for her size and they are assuming it won't close on its own and will require surgery to close it. She's been seen by the cardiologist twice already and many visits to the pediatrician in one week. Their watching her like a hawk and she has us all worried, but God is good and completely in control. We serve a higher physician who can do ALL things! They would like to see Aramai get a little older (at least a month) and weigh at least 10 lbs before performing the surgery on her. It's all a big waiting game right now, all we can do is love on her and pray for her to be safe!

I try to catch cat naps here and there. She actually sleeps more than I remember Avalee sleeping. I have to wake her at night for her feedings, otherwise she would sleep right through - I'm counting my blessings now because I know as she gets older, the sleeping all day and night thing will go away! We truly thank the Lord for another little blessing in our lives!!

Ultrasound

I went in for what will hopefully be my last ultrasound (cross my fingers). Baby's growth is finally catching up. now weighing 5 lbs 9 oz...and measuring between 36 and 37 weeks. I should be 38 weeks right now - so this is good news. Last time I went in for an ultrasound I was supposed to be 35 weeks and was measuring 31. All of these ultrasounds and I've managed not to find out the sex. of course I'm not very good at reading the sonograms and knowing the difference between a leg and an arm until someone points it out to me - I'm a perfect candidate for staying surprised!

Avalee caught up at the end and weighed in at 7lbs. She came 2 weeks early. I'm hoping I don't go for 3 more weeks but we'll see...either way, it's right around the corner!!!!